No, not part of my diet, but a line from a Pat Green song we heard on the way to school today. You know my kids love their drinking songs, and this one is fun to sing along with…
Every day in lunch in High School and all of my senior year
I’d drink my Coca-Cola with a touch of Everclear.
I never had to study math, science or history.
I’d have a chemical flashback to jog my memory.In my junior year, I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann.
One night I put some Everclear, in her Dr Pepper can.
I thought it’d make her easy,
She took it pretty hard.
I took her home and rang her doorbell left her lying in the yard.-CHORUS-
Tequila dries me out.
And beer just makes me fat.
Whiskey makes me noxious
Now tell me who the hell needs that?
Well if you’re thinking about drinking,
then the answer’s crystal clear.
It’s the invisible intoxicant,
it’s called Everclear.
– sing along! you know you want to ->
I remember my church picnic, in the Spring of ’89.
Yeah they had four fresh watermelons,
sliced right of the vine.
When they bowed their heads, giving grace for the food.
I poured out my bottle and soaked them melons good
Well they never know what hit ’em,
When the potion went to work
They had grandmas doing backflips,
Grandpas lookin’ up their skirts.
They were singin’ hallelujah, and Willie Nelson songs
Preacher said it was the best damn picnic
that the Baptists had ever thrown-chorus, again-
Tequila dries me out.
And beer just makes me fat.
Whiskey makes me noxious
now tell me who the hell needs that.
Well if you’re thinking about drinking,
then the answer’s crystal clear.
It’s the invisible intoxicant,
it’s called Everclear.When I’m drinking Everclear,
I think I’m King of this whole world.
I’m bigger and badder than John Wayne
Cooler than Steve Earle.
Until I wake up, and I’m face down in the hall.
Hey I’m completely naked, for a reason I can’t recall.
Well I’m kinda sorta thinking, that maybe I met a chick.
Cause there’s perfume in the air and lipstick on my neck.
Well I hope that she was pretty and I hope that she was kind
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere
They’re easy to find.-Chorus, if you can still sing-
Tequila dries me out.
And beer just makes me fat.
Whiskey makes me noxious
now tell me who the hell needs that.
Well if you’re thinking about drinking,
then the answer’s crystal clear.
It’s the invisible intoxicant,
it’s called Everclear.
Yeah, I’m gonna be real popular with the first grade teachers this year…