One of my biggest weaknesses is not being able to communicate.

I truly suck at being direct with anyone if it is at all important to do so.  I know how to talk the talk, I’ve read all the articles.  I hate passive-aggressive bullshit and avoidance as much as the next person.  And yet I struggle and it is obvious.

I write here as a release.  It’s just for me.  In fact, I received my 30 day notice for my domain name expiring (something as brilliant as oldsillybear, I’m sure that google and microsoft would like to snap it up if I don’t renew it, as long as apple doesn’t outbid them) and i’m not sure I want to pay the fee.  I haven’t even opened the email to see how much it is.  Every time I renew (I think it’s every three years?  I suck at remembering this stuff)  Since it is a public blog, I know it can be read by anyone. It’s not exactly a secret.

I don’t write coded messages here, or any bullshit like that.  That would take more effort than I can spare right now, I’m doing well to just get through most days.  Even so, there are things I would write about, but I’m afraid they would be misinterpreted.   I set my twitter feed to private when I realized just how often I was talking about drinking and how unpredictable I can be after having ambien.  Same with FB.

So here I have a forum where apparently I’m not afraid to say things, yet I hold myself back, and then in private when I need to tell someone things, I’m afraid to or unable to or scared or who knows what the hell is wrong with me.  It’s just strange.  This causes plenty of problems.  LOL.  Yeah.

Where was I?  Oh.  Want to hear something funny?  I came here to write about running barefoot.  WTF? My brain is wired funny.  I’ll write about that some other time.  Horrible Bosses is on.  “You can’t win a marathon without putting some band-aids on your nipples.”  Kevin Spacey fucking rocks.


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