Personal

Me! It’s all about me!

Tell me why

March 8, 2010 in Fat Guy by Ben | 1 comment

And no, the title is not a reference to Bob Geldof or a favorite song of mine.

But, it could be, so go ahead and hum along.

We were driving the other day, and there were a bunch of cones by the road and people directing traffic because the annual half marathon was happening. My daughter (always observant) said “They’re running, like Daddy used to.”

Of course, she won’t stop there, she went on with “Why did Daddy quit?”

I was trying to drive so I didn’t say anything right away, but my wife responded with something along the lines of ‘he got busy doing other things.’

She would have been more accurate to just say “He’s a quitter. He quits everything, or does it half-assed. He quit running, he quit cycling, he quit trying to build a real career, he quit his diet. It’s probably only a matter of time before he quits all of us, too. The only good thing he has quit was smoking.”

But she couldn’t say that, because that would be admitting to my kids that you can smoke and not die or burst into flames.

Tell me why?
I don’t like Mondays.

Having a moment

February 16, 2010 in Personal by Ben | Comments closed

The other day we’re singing in church, a song that we don’t sing very often but I used to back when I was a kid, and for a minute I had the calmest feeling come over me.

And as I’m writing this I’m tempted to write something like “intensely calm” because it was that much of a departure from the way I normally am.

And then I started overthinking it and wondering “I wonder if this is what it’s like for other people? Is this is how church is supposed to make you feel?”

And then it was gone, and I was back to normal, whatever that is. My usual self, full of doubts and worries and fears and horrible black oily stuff that – oh, wait, no, that was on a movie I saw. Anyway, my usual self.

The self that I pretty much hate. But I’m thinking maybe if I keep going to church for another 40 years, I’ll get a moment like that again.

We’ll see.

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Reaching that point

December 15, 2009 in Personal by Ben | Comments closed

Where I keep asking myself “Why the fuck do I bother?”

Really, really.

Thud.

December 9, 2009 in Educational, Fat Guy by Ben | Comments closed

So sorry, y’all, having a bit of a time right now. But here’s something to distract all of us momentarily. Shamelessly lifted from Busy Mom’s blog… (she said it was OK)

  1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Eric Clapton.
  2. Where was your first kiss? Probably at church during a youth group dance. I think.
  3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Nothing that couldn’t be fixed. Or washed off.
  4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Does football count?
  5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? I was once in a stage production of ‘Grease,’ and yes, they made me sing. After years of therapy I think my fellow cast has come out of this experience stronger.
  6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? I prefer noticing them.
  7. What really turns you off? Kids banging on the door. Wait, what?
  8. What do you order at Starbucks? Coffee. Cheapest they have. Not that I go there much.
  9. What is your biggest mistake? That whole ‘being born’ thing at the moment.
  10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Not unless you count getting really, really drunk.
  11. Say something totally random about yourself. I’m nearsighted.
  12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Not that I can remember.
  13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? All. the. time.
  14. Did you have braces? oh yes.
  15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes.
  16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Taken care of me when I was sick.
  17. When do you know it’s love? When they don’t leave.
  18. Do you speak any other languages? No. I should probably learn some Spanish, and tried 20 years ago with some language tapes, but nada.
  19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? You’re kidding, right?
  20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? yes, a couple times.
  21. What’s something that really annoys you? People that ask too many questions.
  22. What’s something you really like? Free beer.
  23. Can you dance? Not to save my life.
  24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes. At least I hope they rushed, considering how much I paid for the ride.
  25. Tag 5 people! Tag, you’re it!

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such a lonely word

October 16, 2009 in Personal by Ben | 1 comment

So, why the hell not, tagged (kinda) by Busy Mom to do the Completely Honest thing.

I have to say 10 honest things about myself.

Ahem.

  1. I only had four hours of sleep last night, and today keep getting chills.
  2. Okay, that one was lame. You don’t wanna hear that kinda stuff, do you? Well, I blame the chills on eating barbecue last night and not getting enough sleep.
  3. Oh, wow, this is easy! I’m already to number three.
  4. I suffer from depression. Sometimes less, sometimes more, but it never truly goes away.
  5. I have finished two books so far this year. One of them I started in 2007. Shut up. I’m trying to set a good example for others. I fully plan to finish a third by the end of the year.
  6. When something tragic (or potentially tragic) happens, I tend to crack jokes. It’s a coping mechanism. Not everyone likes this about me. Usually they are too kind to say anything about it; I realize that it can be off-putting and I try to control myself.
  7. This should not be a surprise if you’ve ever read my blog, but I kinda like movies. That’s why I didn’t get much sleep last night (weren’t you paying attention? That was number 1, and two.) I went to see Where the Wild Things Are at the midnite movie
  8. Going to midnite movies here makes me feel incredibly old, not only am I like double anyone’s age, but I was the only one a) sober and 2) driving a minivan.
  9. Speaking of old, can you believe Favre is still playing? And undefeated? (at this writing). While technically this statement is not about me, it is honest.
  10. Depression means I constantly have to step back from the keyboard, because the stuff I might write would probably get me the “loony” label faster than you can say Balloon Boy’s Family Gets Their Own TV Show. At the very least it would all be presented in divorce proceedings. So step away I do, a lot, and instead talk about movies and football and balloons.

Go, do.

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