Dungy, others outraged over ABC promo

Sure ’nuff, this will likely be the next “Moral imperative” that our friends in the Castle will take up. So how bout a little rant? Let’s do it right, shall we? You want just football when you tune in? Here’s what we’ve gotta do, for starters:

(and for the record, I wrote this post HOURS before reading a very similar articl here. But he’s a better writer than I am. Check it out.)

• Dump Levitra as a sponsor. Go see your doctor if you’re worried about your dick. Don’t take medical advice from TV shows. And don’t make my kids ask me about ‘erectile’ anything on Sunday afternoon.
• Dump the beer companies. I don’t want my kids exposed to all this glamorization of alcohol consumption, either. I can watch NASCAR for that.
• Dump the truck ads. I don’t want my kids exposed to the materialism espoused by ‘get the latest and greatest,’ the implication that you’re Not A Man unless your truck can haul a tractor up a hill faster than the Other Guy’s Truck.
• For that matter, let’s lose Caddilac, too. I don’t care that you have a few bars of Zeppelin. You’re still a car for old people and drug dealers. You’re not HIP. Get over it already.
• So who should be allowed to advertise? Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. That’s it. And the league better not charge them much, these people are protecting my right to type this drivel.
• Cheerleaders? Either put them in sweaters and long pants or get them out of there. They distract from the game.
• Same for Jillian the weather girl. Football doesn’t need a weather girl. We have an entire weather channel, for chrissakes.
• No more rock music between commercial breaks. The Devil made rock music. Let’s get some hymns going, ‘kay? Or how about silence. Silence works for me.
• No more promotions for The Bachelor or any other TV show when football is on. I want to see football, not promotions for other programs. I don’t care if the Simpson’s is on after the game. If I want to know about your other shows, I’d buy a TV guide. Lose it.
• Football player convicted of drugs or rape or not paying child support or driving too fast? Fire their ass. I only want pure, fine, upstanding role models for my kids. For every punk that has a drug problem there are at least two more guys who just WISH they could play in the NFL.
• As long as we’re talking role models, cover up the tattoos. Can’t be seeing tattoos during football. That’s for those sissies on the baseball field. Double for ear/eye/nose/tongue rings.
• No more interviews from the locker room. If they want to interview them that badly, wait a while for them to get cleaned up and they can come to a press conference. And for God sakes, put on a tie. You’re about to be interviewed on national TV! Show some respect for the kids out there.
• Let’s lose all the old guys that played 30 years ago discussing the game for hours as if it’s so important. What a distraction! I want to watch football, not a bunch of people talking about it. I can watch CNN for that.

Am I going too far? Damn right I am. (this is a joke, m’kay?)

So shut up about the silly promo that ABC did already. It lasted a few seconds and it’s over with. I wouldn’t have seen it or known about it had CNN not played it thirty six times a day all week. this isn’t news!

Heh. Like the NFL had an image to begin with.