Ya know, on the talking head shows, when they are trying to make it sound like they know the real scoop about what’s going on, they always ask some reporter who has talked to somebody who has a cousin that lives there during the summer and for some reason that person has imbibed the all important news of what is happening “on the ground.” This is the term they use, even if they live on a barge and haven’t touched the earth in years.

Anyway, it’s always something earth shattering, like “News outlets have announced that Britney showed up at the bar just to flash her beaver at the cameras again, but after talking to the second cousin of the busboy’s former baby-sitter, we find that the situation on the ground has changed. In fact, it was Lindsay who couldn’t keep her pants on, Britney was wearing sweatpants, or jeans, details are still sketchy. Stay tuned while we have a Town Hall Meeting to find out how everyone feels about this.”

So, anyway, I thought I’d finally reveal the real reason I get up three to five mornings a week and trot around the neighborhood like I know what I’m doing.

And if anyone has suddenly been given a Christmas bonus and wants to waste some money on their favorite blogtard, I’m sure they would be happy to fix you up; they know me as the crazy guy that blogs about their fantastic clothes. Not that I would stoop so low as to hint at anything like that…