Ah, Food TV. It’s on all the time here. Sometimes in two rooms. There’s something about those food tv hosts, isn’t there? They are never out of something and running to the store to get it. They never have to catch a child to get their butcher knife back. They don’t toss stuff to the dogs to shut them up (or the kids, or the spouse).
Q: Iron Chef: Original, or American?
A: Original, of course. The American version tries too hard, is too polished, too witty. Too American.
Q: Which Food host looks the most like an adorable chipmunk on crack when you fast forward the Tivo feed?
A: Rachel Ray.
Q: Which food TV host would you most like to slap with a nicely sauteed salmon filet?
A: I can only pick one? Okay, Bobby Flay and Tyler Florence. Together.
Q: Which Food TV host has the best cleavage?
A: Giada De Laurentiis
Q: Which Food TV host would look best in a full body length fishnet stocking and santa hat?
A: Sandra Lee. Cuz, ya know, she’s “Semi Homemade”
Q: Which Food TV host has the biggest head?
A: Giada De Laurentiis. Can’t have you thinking she’s perfect or something.