THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative;
2. Preliminary;
3. Proliferation;
4. Cinnamon.

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
1. Specificity;
2. British Constitution;
3. Passive-aggressive disorder.

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex;
2. Nope, no more beer for me;
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type;
4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing.

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Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze.

Billy-Bob asked Bubba, “If I snuck ovah to your house while you wuz out fishin’ an’ banged your wife, an’ she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?”

Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, “I don’t think so… but it shore would make us even.”