PARIS HILTON MAKES FAITH-BASED TAPE

After reviewing exit polls revealing that “values” and “moral issues” were foremost in the voters’ minds, Ms. Hilton shelved her plans for a new sex tape and began exploring the feasibility of starring in a faith-based tape instead. “In the past, when people have heard the name ‘Paris Hilton’ they’ve thought ‘spoiled sexpot,’” Ms. Hilton […]

It’s not just a river in Egypt

I am all better! Really! I’m trying to write with exclamation points, since it makes all my friends seem perky! And, seriously, I am one fucking perky guy! Here’s a joke or two to show you that I’m feeling hunky-dory: “Let me tell ya, you gotta feel bad for John Kerry. Just think he came […]