I don’t enjoy this time of year. I really wish I did, I didn’t ask to be this broken (worse in the winter). I don’t talk about it with anyone because that just leads to them saying “get over it, you have too much to be thankful for”, or worse, deciding I’m so fragile that they go out of their way to not set me off or whatever.

So I go along with stuff, do all the things that are expected. I bought my own Christmas present this year (it is in a pretty bottle) and I’ll put all my energy into pretending I’m not this epic failure and waste of resources. And in a week or two we’ll get back at work and batching about whatever and I’ll get a break for 11 months and then it starts again.

Ho x 3