I’m at work, doing my usual checking of x’s and o’s. Thinking that I need to re-adjust my way of dealing with stress and uncertainty, which currently is: Eat.

Yes, I eat when I’m stressed. I admit it. This is why I was nearly 300 pounds in the middle of 2010. This is why I have tried to exercise and eat right since then, and have droped 80 pounds or so. Two things about eating: it makes me fat, and it costs money, because I can’t just eat cheap stuff, I tend to eat out. Last night, for example, I went to return a redbox movie, and insted of driving to the pharmacy I stopped at a grocery store. And hey, while I’m here, I might as well grab a snack. And an hour later I finished a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

Now, obviously there is nothing wrong with Ben and Jerry’s, and this isn’t a nightly thing, but the fact remains that I inhaled 1500 calories or so the evening after I had already gone out to eat for lunch.

So today I’m skipping lunch, on the one hand so that my bank account makes it to payday, and on the other hand because, hello, 1500 calories.

(Phish Food in case you were wondering. Ahem)

About the stress and uncertainty – ah, fuck, I can’t describe it all, and it’s not fair to others that I put too many details out. Let’s say that I have done a shitload of soul searching and I’m trying to change things in my life. My life that I want to share and involve others in.

This just came on the radio (I’m listening to the “tom petty” station on last.fm)

I remember this tour. Make it rain.

Just shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if we only will