warning: possible navel-gazing craziness. Read this with a big grain of salt.

Overall I’m feeling much stronger than I have in a long time. I’ve sorted out a bunch of things for myself, through a lot of reflection and talking with friends. I know what I want, now I’m trying to overcome various obstacles. How do I keep from getting mired down in the negative bullshit that has ruled my heart and life for so many years?

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my family in the last week or so. It feels great. Not without issues, but so far they have been minor. I’ve learned my daughter really loves board games and my son is really really competitive at the same 😛

The first roadblock that is looming (and a big one, heh) is that I have about two weeks to renew or cancel my lease. This idea is a minefield, I’m afraid to make a wrong step. I’ve been happy with my apartment complex, but have to decide if I should try and relocate to somewhere cheaper. Cheaper probably means tougher neighborhood, smaller older place, farther commute to work, much further from my kids. Where I live now is not luxurious, by any means, but because of the location they charge a premium. So I need to figure out my options and make a decision. My actual lease isn’t up until June but I’m required to give notice if I’m leaving. Sigh.

Another, and smaller obstacle: I’ve definitely slipped a bit on the diet and exercise front, eating too much of the foods that I know I should not have. It’s time to redouble my efforts and make sure I don’t slip back into old habits. Recently I’ve done much better on the exercise front, so my nutrition will need to fall in line.

I don’t know how many of my thoughts to put here, not sure this is the place to share all of them and not sure I can make them coherent enough for an “audience.” Never fear, I’m doing pretty well, just gotta figure out this next step, because that will set up how the next year of my life goes. And when you are taking things one day at at time a year seems pretty fucking long.