So, this morning, I was driving to work (it’s all of 4 miles) and changed lanes at the same moment some asshat in a Camry behind me decided HE was going to change lanes.

I glance in my mirror and see a faceful of venom. He is honking, flipping me off.

This continues for two. miles. Half of my/our commute.

I’m sorry, sir, I was in front of you. I used my turn signal and made a legal lane change. I was not driving any slower than the cars around us (it’s a busy freakin’ street). If you are in that big of an
effing hurry, go around. Better yet? Leave the house a little earlier.

He finally passed me and would not make eye contact, not that I expected him to. I gave him a huge wave (making it clear to show all five fingers, and a big smile). He looked in his rear view at me and flipped me off, again. I waved back. At this point, it was starting to get fun. Two red lights later (I’m still right behind him, in spite of going the speed limit and shit like that), he turned onto
another street. I gave one last giant wave.

The reality is, I saw myself in that car, because many times (and more recently than I’d like to admit) I WAS that dark, bitter driver, spewing insults onto other people who just happened to be in my line of fire. I like to think I’ve grown up a bit, but the fact is I’m probably just older. Hating takes a lot of energy, and I need my energy for better things, now.

And dude, if I see you again? I am SO going to wave, and generally act like you give good blowjobs or something, just to see how annoyed it gets you.