Guess what we did today? C’mon, guess. Maybe this will help:
Will you be ready at the plate when Jesus throws the ball?
Will your life be an infield fly or a base hit off the wall?
No sinner’s ever happy when he hears the umpire call
Will you be ready
at the plate
when Jesus throws the ball.
Hallellujah, and all that. Yes, we went to CHURCH. Only we did it in a spectacular fashion.
The kids. were. atrocious.
How bad could they be? I hear you asking yourself. This bad:
After spending an hour praying for the Hellmouth to open up and just swallow the lot of us, we hopped in the car and drove straight home.
Doesn’t sound that bad, I can hear you thinking (some of you think way loud, ‘specially for a Sunday)
I left out the best part: Home was almost a four hour drive.
That’s right, friends and neighbors, we woke up this morning, dressed the kids for church, and drove to North Dallas to see my nephew make his First Communion. Which he did. We also left quite an impression on all the people around us. I’m not sharing gory details, suffice it to say it was really awful.
So we left, without even waiting for mass to end and to say goodbye to the dozen family members there, and drove back home.
We were gone from 8 to 4, and spent an hour of that time in church.
Have your morals gone on strike?
Do you direct foul language at the folks that you don’t like?
Would you rather steal than base your life on something fair?
Do you stay at home, or go out swinging, everywhereWill you be ready at the plate when Jesus throws the ball?
Will your life be an infield fly or a base hit off the wall?
No sinner’s ever happy when he hears the umpire call
Will you be ready
at the plate
when Jesus throws the ball.
(for any of you who wonder just where my warped personality comes from, you can blame some of it on Randy Brooks, who wrote this song (yes, it’s really a song) when I was like twelve, and also wrote Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer. Really, really)