The Borowitz Report .com: “According to People spokesperson Marla Divicentis, the magazine’s editors took the unusual step of putting a fetus on the cover after sneaking an early peek at Ms. Jolie’s ultrasound and pronouncing the unborn child “uber-hot.”

“We took one look at that ultrasound and decided that, quite simply, we had never seen a sexier fetus,” Ms. Divicentis said. “It is way hotter than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ fetus.”

“It certainly is a lot taller,” she added.”