Perhaps I should clarify what I wrote here about me and my kids.

I love my kids madly. Period. I apparently still have issues about not being able to create my own, and that’s something I’ll be dealing with for a while. That is separate from my kids, though. Crap, this is hard to put into words (and I’m a masochist for trying, I think). I don’t feel like I’ve “settled” or anything, in a perfect world I’d have it all (procreat and adopt), but that ain’t gonna happen. I am blessed to have my children in my life. I can’t imagine loving them more.

It is still a little odd around holidays to think of their birth families, though, and the letters I’ve received reflect some of that, mostly from the other side, as the child that was adopted who still has feeling about birth mom/dad. Perhaps that’s what I was trying to put into words yesterday.