“I guess the people I feel worst for are Carter and Ford. Because they have to be watching all this thinking, we’re not getting that.” —Jon Stewart, on media coverage of Ronald Reagan’s death

“The head of the CIA, George Tenet, resigned last week. He didn’t want to resign, but when you don’t have any credible intelligence, you don’t really need a director.” —Jay Leno

“Prosecutors are having a difficult time building a case against Saddam Hussein. I’ll tell you something, the guy is smart. See, when he tortured people, he didn’t take snapshots.” —David Letterman