saddam

The Borowitz Report .com: “The Iraqi dictator made the extraordinary request in a special hearing today, telling the judge in his case, “There is no jury in the world better qualified to hear my case than those twelve people who just let Michael Jackson walk.”

In addition to requesting the Jackson jury, Saddam also requested that the mother of Mr. Jackson’s accuser be called upon to testify against him in his trial.

The Iraqi madman, who had been gloomy and depressed in recent months, reportedly “perked up” when the Jackson verdict was announced earlier this week, sources inside his prison said.

“When the verdict was read and it was not guilty on all counts, Saddam practically jumped out of his chair,” one source said. “He was like, ‘I’ve got to get that jury – they’re awesome!’””

Last night at dinner came an interesting conversation with my oldest. He was asking, as he often does, about Foreign Affairs:

Son: “So, will Badam Sudain ever hurt us?”

Parent: “No, honey, he’s in jail and will stay there a long time.”

Son: “But that’s up to the judge, right?”

Parent: “The judge said he has to stay for a trial.”

Son: “Because he wasn’t very nice. And he killed lots of people.”

“I bet he’s missing out on lots of good stuff while he’s in jail. Like Christmas, and Halloween.”

“On Halloween the guards all go trick or treating and do stuff and leave him there, with just one guy to watch him, I bet.”

“I bet he’s sorry he was so mean.”