16) Huge grill marks on your ass.

15) Stay in the local burn ward now part of the family
cookout tradition.

14) Your secret weekend “get away” is actually a web site.

13) Image of Grandpa in his Speedo is indelibly burned into
your memory.

12) Your improbable kebob skewer mishap headlines local paper.

11) Just as you and the gang settled in to watch the Three
Stooges Marathon, the FBI cut the power to your ranch.

10) You can now lip-synch to that entire “Thighmaster” infomercial.

9) Your barbeque fire consumed 10,000 acres.

8) You attended the annual beef barbecue at the British Embassy.

7) Regardless what the marriage license says, you don’t remember going to Vegas.

6) Your five-year-old took the phrase “weiner roast” literally.

5) Emulating that North Korean fighter pilot, neighborhood punks try to “defect” on your front lawn.

4) While you baked in the sun, drinking buddies placed DUMBASS
stencil on your forehead.

3) Didn’t shoot your limit in San Diego’s Wild Animal Park.

2) Held seance to raise spirits of dead war heros, only got
Gomer Pyle.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Memorial Day Weekend Sucked…

1) Your Ball Park Frank didn’t plump, if you know what I mean.