top-10

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR GRANDPARENTS ARE STILL SEXUALLY ACTIVE
10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.

9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.

8. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”

7. Granny found cuffed to her walker.

6. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

5. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.

4. Your “Grandma” is Anna Nicole Smith.

3. You’ve just seen the photos in the “Beaver Hunt” section of the May issue of Hustler.

2. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.

And the Number One Sign Your Grandparents are still sexually active…..

1. Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for “doggy style.”

16) Huge grill marks on your ass.

15) Stay in the local burn ward now part of the family
cookout tradition.

14) Your secret weekend “get away” is actually a web site.

13) Image of Grandpa in his Speedo is indelibly burned into
your memory.

12) Your improbable kebob skewer mishap headlines local paper.

11) Just as you and the gang settled in to watch the Three
Stooges Marathon, the FBI cut the power to your ranch.

10) You can now lip-synch to that entire “Thighmaster” infomercial.

9) Your barbeque fire consumed 10,000 acres.

You attended the annual beef barbecue at the British Embassy.

7) Regardless what the marriage license says, you don’t remember going to Vegas.

6) Your five-year-old took the phrase “weiner roast” literally.

5) Emulating that North Korean fighter pilot, neighborhood punks try to “defect” on your front lawn.

4) While you baked in the sun, drinking buddies placed DUMBASS
stencil on your forehead.

3) Didn’t shoot your limit in San Diego’s Wild Animal Park.

2) Held seance to raise spirits of dead war heros, only got
Gomer Pyle.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Memorial Day Weekend Sucked…

1) Your Ball Park Frank didn’t plump, if you know what I mean.

From Happy Fun Pundit:

Top 10 Things I Hate About Star Trek

10. Noisy doors.
You can’t walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding doors. They’re dead silent. If those doors went “wheet!” every time a person walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked your membership until you learn to master WD-40

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