I sorta suck at Christmas, and not really in a good way (naughty wink), more in a ‘I know I’ll always let people down’ way.

And we never failed to fail; it was the easiest thing to do.

I excell at ruining things, so why should the end of the year be exempt? I tend to just shut out most of the holidays, if possible, just act like it isn’t happening. For example, I’ve already arranged to miss two office-related holiday functions this week, and it’s only Wednesday. It has nothing to do with the people at my office, who for the record are some of the sweetest folks I know, it has to do with not feeling like celebrating anything.

I’m just a barrel of fun, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, this post struck a chord with me, over at Chookooloonks, I think I can learn something from it. Maybe (just maybe) part of my problem is that I feel obligated to do different things, or do things to a certain standard, and instead of shooting for the moon and landing among the stars (a corny saying but I had to work it into a blog post at some point) I just don’t even get started.

None of this matters to y’all, like I’ve said here many times I write because I need to put things down on virtual paper and see them and mull them over from different angles. The question I have at the moment is how do I break myself of my habits, how do I either change and engage with more people during the peopliest time of the year or accept myself while dodging them? Or some third or fourth or fifth option I haven’t thought about.

Well, hell, I don’t even know if this post makes sense, so I may have to edit later (please not on ambien though) but at least I’m trying to sort this out.