I have so much to learn.

(try not to hear that in Brian Boitano’s voice. I so dare you.)

As part of my going back to zendergarten (it is too a word), I’m trying to slow down and become a better observer of life as it happens, and not worry so much about things that I clearly cannot control. This includes giving up some things that I used to think I was in charge of, ha.

I have a couple of mantras that are helping me through each day. The simplest one:

Breathe.

That gets me through a lot. Just breathe. Breathe because I can. Breathe because life is too short to worry about bullshit. Breathe because it annoys anyone who wants me to feel bad or want me to stop breathing. See? It’s a great mantra. I use it all the time. Breathe.

Here’s another one:

What I want doesn’t matter.

This one’s a bit harder, and is newer to me. It’s a continuation of my letting go and accepting ideas that I’ve been wrestling with for a long time now. It actually helps with both of those – what I want really doesn’t matter. For example, I can want vast numbers of people to wake up and realize what humans are doing to mess up our planet, but it will either happen or it won’t, regardless of how I feel about it. See? What I want doesn’t matter. This also helps to minimize my frustration during daily tasks. Is it being too submissive? I’m not sure. Still learning, I am. But how can that thought be any more submissive than the millions that will happily tell you “God is in control.” It’s the same thing, only I’m not saying that any one being, entity, or concept is in charge – I’m just acknowledging that I am not.

What I want doesn’t matter.

I’m learning to stop trying to control everything around me, and instead, observe and learn from it. Which is just a different way of saying what is at the top of this post. I’m trying to let go. It may not always look that way, but I am.

Here’s another example: going barefoot. I love being barefoot. It allows a connection with all things around me. Is it super comfortable all the time? No, there are sticks and stones in our world. But it does teach me to tread lightly, and to appreciate smoother or softer surfaces. There is nothing quite like cool grass first thing before the dawn. There is also nothing quite like hot asphalt when the sun is out and it’s 100 degrees. I avoid the latter and embrace the former. My feet are teaching me about the world, and all I have to do is pay attention. Will it change the world, or my life, or make a difference at all? Nope. That’s not why I do it. Some people stop and smell the flowers, or admire a beautiful view from a mountain top or airplane window seat, or watch a sunset from a beach. Me, I go barefoot. It’s the little things.

Wow, this got long. Oh well. Maybe I can learn from that and try a bit of brevity next time 😛

Be well.