I’m sitting on the couch watching Being Elmo with one of my kids. We just finished The World’s Fastest Indian.

This is good, this is just being together. No drama, no expectations.

I feel detached, though. Like I need something more. But what? The Elmo documentary is amazing; this young man (at the time) KNEW what he wanted, he worked for it. He did it. Such drive.

What do I need? What do I want? Where do I want to end up?

At this time, I’m here for my kids. That’s about all I can do. I’m trying to come back into their lives, to make a difference, to stop hurting them. So it really doesn’t matter what I want, I have a job to do. My “needs” pale in comparison to this, the biggest and most important job I’ll ever have.

Last night, my daughter asked “Where is your wedding ring?” That’s a long story, honey. A long sad story. I couldn’t tell her my marriage is over, that we are together for them. Maybe that isn’t the final answer, but it’s most of it.

Maybe I’ll tell her someday.