This morning, just after I dropped my oldest off at school, I came to a red light.

And was overcome by a wave. One of those mental waves, a mix of sad and tired, of angry and frustrated, of hopelessness. I fucking hate these waves, and they come at unexpected times. This time I was sober, and rested, and I ate breakfast so wasn’t hungry. I went for a run last night. All of my usual triggers.

It hit anyway.

Fuck. What to do? How do I dig out of this hole I’m in, how do I “fix everything?”

I waited for the light to change, and moved on.