Almost breaking

I’ve been riding a nice wave lately, feeling better about a lot of things.

I think the description might be “hopeful.”

It’s not easy for me to be optimistic, given the circumstances I have brought on.  I have been on a bit of a roll, actually enjoying being with myself.  Today I realized how fragile the peace can be, as dark clouds formed over my heart again. It doesn’t take much, really, for me to step back into the old patterns.

The darkest clouds didn’t last very long, but I can still feel the shadow they left behind.  Maybe in another couple days the shadows, too, will lift. For now I’m trying to talk myself through it.  Self medicating – I made brownies! and enjoying hanging out with my kids.  Fake it till you make it, isn’t that what they say?