First, don’t read too much into the title. It just popped into my head as a song that was popular back when.

This is an odd entry to write, and I’ve been mulling it over for a while. And will continue mulling and possibly changing it later. I dunno.

I’m truly puzzled at my mixed emotions and I guess it’ll all work out eventually.

I can hear you now – WTF are you going on about? Is it the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog?

No.

The problem is, that anything I write will be mis-read, possibly by somebody near and dear to me. Because writing anything down makes it too concrete. And this? Is definitely fuzzy. This is new. I’m trying to figure out how I feel, and then (hopefully) why I feel that way, and maybe, eventually, what it all means.

Ahem. I guess the best way is out with it (but I’m sticking it below the fold to keep from scaring off the teenage boys here looking for Emma Watson’s Tits.

Okay, in a nutshell, this is it: an old boyfriend of my wife’s has contacted her, and they’ve been chatting.

No biggie right? Of course not. Except, I find myself rather jealous at times. And without getting too far into the TMI area, let’s just say that he was The One before I came along. And then I was, apparently, The One because we’ve been together for twenty three years.

See? No biggie.

What is causing the jealousy (there, I said it)?

Is it how her eyes light up when she talks about him?

Is it how we’ve been having mad hot sex lately?

I dunno. She has NOT done anything I wouldn’t have done. He sent her an e-mail (she’s not hard to find, unlike me she doesn’t hide behind aliases). She responded, and copied me. They traded e-mails, catching up – how many kids, what do you do now, where do you live, that sort of thing. They traded phone numbers. They’ve talked a couple of times. She set up a gmail account, and a day or so later not only told me about it, but gave me the name and password and insisted I read all their conversations, waiting to hear what I had to say.

My wife said “Don’t worry, you’re safe.”

(sorry, I had to go print a powerpoint. I’m back. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting)

*sigh*

I dunno what it is, why I feel these funny feelings.

Earlier today a thought struck me: I’m jealous, because I haven’t gotten in touch with any old girlfriends.

Now is that twisted, or what? Like a “tit for tat” kind of deal. My wife is having a blast, reminiscing (sp?) about high school with her friend. She’s telling me all about it. She wants to send him a link to my blog. Apparently she talks about me all the time. And I’m feeling petty jealousy about the whole deal.

I’m still sorting all this out.

Let me re-iterate, though: everything is fine. She’s been married to me for nearly two decades, and we’ve been to hell and back together (more than once). I’m not afraid of “something happening.” I’m just trying to sort out why I get butterflies about it.

More to follow.