So we go to the pool, and my son brings along a frozen bottle of Ozarka to play with. (what? like you don’t let your kids play with ice) So of course, not long after we arrive, the ice has melted and he has a water bottle to play with.

Things are going good, right?

(Those of you with boys? I see you shaking your heads. Yes, I should have known better. I really thought we were past this phase.)

At some point, the five of us are playing, nay, frolicking and having a good time, happy to have a chance to cool off in the late afternoon. My son pulls his water bottle up from underwater and goes “Look!”

It. was. yellow.

Now, I might have said something at this point that can’t be printed in a family blog. But since this isn’t a family blog, I can tell you that I sent him to sit on a bench, and turned away (but not before catching out of the corner of my eye as he poured his “sample” all over the concrete) before I could start laughing like a fool.

The rest of us went and played, and after a few minutes my wife made me go talk to him (she will not discuss Penis Issues. Some biologist. Hmph.)

Anyway, I sat down (still struggling not to laugh) and said “Do you know why I’m upset?”

“yes.”

I continued: “One of the basic pool rules is that you don’t pee in the pool. Ever. Not even in a bottle.”

“But,” he said, pointing, “it’s not on the sign.”

He had a point. I looked at the sign that said things like “no glass containers” and “no smoking” and “no diving in shallow water” and NOWHERE did it say “don’t pee in the pool.” It specifically said nothing at all about bottles.

At this point I went ahead and laughed, and told him to swim, but don’t try this again…