As a small favor to those of you not fortunate enough to have wacky “Texas Radio” stations in your backyard, I’m listing the lyrics to “Oddyseus” by Brian Keane.

You may not have heard of Brian Keane, but he is a fantastic singer / songwriter in Austin (at least for now) and this song gets played pretty often here in town. It isn’t necessarily his best song but it cracks me up every time.

And some days I need cracking up. KnowwhatImean? Anyway, this is a nice break from any political crap I may have been thinking about writing today. But I do want to say thank you very much to everyone who responded to my immigration rant, and a double thank you for staying very civil about everything. This is an issue that seems to get everyone interested, which makes me ask again: why did we wait so long to think about addressing it?

Crap! There I go again. Ahem.

Odysseus

Written by: Brian Keane

I’m gonna tell you this story that I once read,
About this cowboy who was a little messed up in the head,
For starters he went by this weirdo name of Odysseus,
Now Odysseus weren’t no cowboy name,
But he sure could play that cowboy game,
He could rope and ride and he could throw a real mean discus.

He was headed home from some far-off land,
Like Mississippi or Tex-Arkana,
He was trying to get to Ithaca, in New York State,
Met this dude named Poseidon that almost drowned him,
But this chick named Ino came along and found him…
I didn’t really get that part anyway.

What I liked is when he met this girl named Circe, you know
She was all hot and bothered and ready to go,
She invited all of his friends on over for supper.
Turned his buddies into pigs, and that’s a fact,
So he made love to her and she turned ‘em back,
I guess he was good in the sack or something.

Odysseus, why did you have to go?
Odysseus, whatever did you know?
Odysseus, was hard, Odysseus was fast,
That cowboy could really kick some ass.

Well he wasn’t really sure which way to head,
So for directions he went to the kingdom of the dead,
I ain’t sure where that is, but it sounds like Florida.
His momma lived there and she said hi,
He said no momma, I’m here to see this other guy,
She said well, you’re a real find son, then, aren’t you?

Finally he found this guy that knew the way,
He said now listen close to what I gotta say,
It’s a long hard ride and you’ll probably never even get there.
And all your friends they’re all gonna die,
And all you’re gonna wanna do is sit and cry,
And Odysseus said now, hold up… I make a left where?

So he packed his bags and he saddled up,
And he was headed out of town past this little club,
And from inside he heard this girl band called the Sirens,
Well he wanted to stay and hear a few,
But his buddies said no, man, we gotta move,
So he threw this big old tantrum but then he got on back to riding.

When he got home all of these men were there,
Eating all the food from his Frigidaire,
And not just two or three, but like forty-something.
They was hitting on his wife and making a scene,
So he killed them all and got away clean,
Didn’t even have to do community service or nothing.

His wife said I been so faithful babe,
And he said uh…. uh…. me too.
Except for that girl in that cave and a couple more,
And that beautiful woman on that island shore…
For like two years….
Anyways, baby, I been so faithful in my heart.