Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while
There’s a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while
We went to seem my wife’s father over the weekend, and he isn’t doing so hot. This song has been in my mind all weekend (in case anyone didn’t know, Warren Zevon created his final album ‘The Wind’ while dying of cancer)
Dad’s been in the hospital almost a week due to dehydration and circulatory problems, and the cancer appears to have spread quickly. The doctor suspects it is in the marrow of his hip bones; his blood counts are terrible and they are giving him blood daily just to keep him going.
The decision will be made, very soon, if he will even try and fight the tumors that are tearing him apart from the inside. He can’t seem to decide, he doesn’t want to, shouldn’t have to – nobody deserves this. It’s heartbreaking to see someone you love in such pain, and even worse to know that there is nothing you can really do. Radiation may prolong his life, but it is doubtful it would add more than a few weeks; in addition if they sedate him enough to where he can actually handle the radiation treatment it may stop his heart. Family members gathered over the weekend to see him and try and make him feel better, try and get a grip on their own feelings. My kids were angels and handled all the driving and hospital sitting and hand wringing very very well.
So what the hell do you do? Wait, Worry. Wish it weren’t so. That’s what I do.