Hey, you.

A couple of weeks ago a friend called me. He’s not a close friend, but he’s more than an acquaintance. Whatever.

Anyway, he was just calling to check about something I was working on. We hadn’t talked in a while, but before I could say “happy new year” he told me what’s been going on.

“We’re getting a divorce.”

WTF? Where did that come from? And what about the kid you are adopting?

“The agency yanked him in a heartbeat. We aren’t allowed to adopt since we are breaking up. Last time I saw him was the day they told him.”

Great! Lovely!

“Our house is on the market, but things are kinda slow right now, we haven’t had any offers.”

Well, um, sure. But it’s not a housing bubble, really!

“My wife’s lawyer sent the divorce papers to me at work. I had no idea she had even talked to a lawyer.”

Ouch! Um, er, well… so what else is going on? Seen any good movies lately?

“I’ve been offered a job out of state, and I think I might take it. Good benefits, they’ll pay to move.”

Wait, what about your (teenage) son?

“Oh, he decided he couldn’t handle us anymore, so he dropped out of college, joined the Army, and is now in boot camp.”

Ah, well okay then. He can call you from Iraq in your new house in your new town! Don’t forget to give him your number.

“So, what’s up with you?”

Um, the Steelers? Playoffs? Yeah, my troubles seem kinda small now.