Big Bad Bear’s Back…

*sigh* Ben’s back…Oh…umm….hi Ben! How are you?! Have a good trip? yeah?  What…what do you mean the place is a mess?  No it’s not!  I swear!  Okay…well..maybe we had one party or two, but I swear that I have no idea where that thong came from!

And with Ben’s return comes an end to our guest posts.  If I’ve made you laugh or have nurtured your hatred of Britney Spears, then I have done my job. 

I, for one, am extremely glad that Ben is back and hope that he had a chance to rest, because if anyone deserves it, you guys do!

And so I leave you with this: What do you say to an adult toy company when they contact you shortly after your order has arrived to check for your satisfaction of the product you ordered and services in general?

“The delivery was a bit anti-climaxic”

To Be 6 Again

I am not suggesting that the following story actually took place while Silly Old Bear was on vacation… but it could have.

Ben was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.  “I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

The morning, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!  He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster… everything there was.  Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.  He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.  Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s.  What a fabulous adventure!  Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.  He leaned over his wife with a big smile and  lovingly asked, “Well Dear, what was it like being six again??”

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. I meant my dress size, you idiot!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.