Positively silly

Enough with the whining! The drama! The “woe is me!”

Here are some good things:

I have run 8 miles since Sunday morning, including 2 miles each of the last two days. I did strength training on Wednesday. I’m eating healthy foods (but maybe not enough) and drinking copious amounts of water. I’ve lost 7 pounds so far in June (stress, anyone?).

I found an apartment within walking distance of the house. It is not a scary crackhouse. My neighbors (for now) are extremely quiet. My kids are (a little too) excited about it, mostly because there is a pool and lots of steps on the sidewalk to jump on.

I managed to move in 100 degree heat, thanks to my kids’ help. My apartment is functional, if not very comfortable yet. Meaning I have food, a means to cook the food, towels, a wine opener, things like toilet paper and a hairbrush, etc. I may not have a trash can or much furniture in the living room, but I can be presentable when I get to work and I won’t starve. I have internet access and a TV so the kids won’t be too bored when they visit.

not sure everyone agrees with this

It’s time to get busy living.

another day

Words on a page are about all I have here. Well, that isn’t entirely correct. I can post pictures, or a link to something else. Then of course it is up to whomever is reading to interpret the words, pictures, and links. And that is the very thing that makes me hesitate to post.

I know what I want to say, but frequently I absolutely suck at getting that “thing” across in words. Or pictures. And I worry that someone will read here and focus on one tiny little part of what I write and think that is everything. Like the blind men and the elephant.

I write as a release. That’s all.

This road I’ve started on has got to be the single hardest thing I have ever done. Of course, not just for me, it is hard if not harder for my family. Time will tell if this is the right path to take, the better path, or the lesser of two evils, or just what the fuck it is.

I’m realizing now what it is to be alone.

I have friends, but they are all at the other end of the internet. Again, words and pictures are all we share. Sometimes it’s enough. Sometimes it’s not. I need to learn to just be me, to rely on just me. That may be the hardest part of all this.

One thing that helps is to read cheesy motivational stuff, like this:

I hope they aren't referring to odor

Oh and we need a couple more movie quotes:

Looks like I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue.

and how about

Westley: Where am I?

The Albino: [raspy voice] The Pit of Despair! Don’t even think…
[clears throat]

The Albino: … don’t even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don’t dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.

Westley: So I’m here till I die?

The Albino: Until they kill you, yeah.

Westley: Then why bother curing me?

The Albino: Well, the Prince and Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they’re broken.

pushing on

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin.’

and

[T]hey bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let ’em crash.

or

“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”

“Why, what did she tell you?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

and finally

“Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”

When I’m stressed, my brain seems to default to either music or movie quotes. Guess which one it is this evening.

PS: I thought it was raining, but apparently it’s just a water feature (also known as the irrigation system here) that is malfunctioning. Goodnight, y’all.