Gonna try a different embed, because this is just an awesome video and I don’t want to lose it 😛
Charlie stole the handle. Bastard.
Sooner or later, you gotta face your fears
It is difficult for me to walk into a situation and not have a good idea of what may happen. It’s a very deep seated need of mine to be able to manage my feelings, and to do that I try (usually unconsciously) to manage other things around me, so as to reach an acceptable outcome.
I’m trying to think of a small example of what I’m trying to say but drawing a blank. My mind is always trying to figure out “what next” and it is usually wrong, ha.
Last night I wrote about a couple of big obstacles that I’m dealing with. That is the way I see things sometimes, as puzzles, obstacles, challenges. It gets in the way of just enjoying things, enjoying life. I can’t just relax.
This will be tested over the next couple of days, as our family takes a trip to the beach. It’s spring break for at least half the state, so it could be crowded. Things with my family are tentative, but I’m hopeful. I will probably eat too much. See? There I am again, looking at things that could go wrong or be unpleasant. I need to shift that whole train of thought:
We’re going to the beach for a couple days, and it’s gonna be fun. Dammit.
So much better.
and now Doctor Ambien is sending me to bed before I really fuck things up.
where do I begin?
I might be a little obsessed with this song.
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Do you remember the days?
We built these paper mountains
Then sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can’t you feel it growing stronger
Little conquerors
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Now,
For the very first time
Don’t you pay no mind
Set me free, again
To keep alive, a moment at a time
That’s still inside, a whisper to a riot
The sacrifice, the knowing to survive
The first decline, another state of mind
I’m on my knees, I’m praying for a sign
Forever, whenever, I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I’m on my knees, I never wanna die
I’m dancing on my grave
I’m running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I’ll never say goodbye
Forever, whenever
Forever, whenever
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?