minding my own business

I’m at work, doing my usual checking of x’s and o’s. Thinking that I need to re-adjust my way of dealing with stress and uncertainty, which currently is: Eat.

Yes, I eat when I’m stressed. I admit it. This is why I was nearly 300 pounds in the middle of 2010. This is why I have tried to exercise and eat right since then, and have droped 80 pounds or so. Two things about eating: it makes me fat, and it costs money, because I can’t just eat cheap stuff, I tend to eat out. Last night, for example, I went to return a redbox movie, and insted of driving to the pharmacy I stopped at a grocery store. And hey, while I’m here, I might as well grab a snack. And an hour later I finished a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

Now, obviously there is nothing wrong with Ben and Jerry’s, and this isn’t a nightly thing, but the fact remains that I inhaled 1500 calories or so the evening after I had already gone out to eat for lunch.

So today I’m skipping lunch, on the one hand so that my bank account makes it to payday, and on the other hand because, hello, 1500 calories.

(Phish Food in case you were wondering. Ahem)

About the stress and uncertainty – ah, fuck, I can’t describe it all, and it’s not fair to others that I put too many details out. Let’s say that I have done a shitload of soul searching and I’m trying to change things in my life. My life that I want to share and involve others in.

This just came on the radio (I’m listening to the “tom petty” station on last.fm)

I remember this tour. Make it rain.

Just shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if we only will

Why is compassion so out of fashion?

At the risk of blowing my image of Cynical Old Bastard…

I may have mentioned it a time or two here and there, I’ve been going through a bit of a life change the past couple years.

As part of the learning process, the healing process, I have been encouraged to look toward spiritual matters. Go ahead, laugh, because that was sorta my reaction. After I calmed down a bit, I started considering things.

I’ve read different articles about zen and Buddhism for years. Many of the concepts strike a chord with me, so I went to the library and picked up some books by the Dalai Lama, and I’m reading more and more. I’ve also been reading other articles and essays.

Today I read this, a three step algorithm to help find happiness. (Rome wasn’t built in a day, ya know, this stuff is going to take time). Practice.

It’s three steps, and anyone can do them. This is an algorithm that can be repeated over and over, all day long. It starts with a basic assumption: that we are all human beings capable of goodness, of love, of pain, of broken hearts and passionate love. That we all have bad days, that inside our jaded exteriors is a person who just wants love.

I’m not going to go all mushy on y’all, but I am going to make a sincere effort to be happy. It seems to me the best way to do that is to try and make the world a better place, a little tiny bit at a time. What can it hurt to try? BTW, here’s a good starting point.

Go ahead, laugh. It’s good for you 😛

Sedagive?

Overcoming negative tendencies and enhancing positive potential are the very essence of the spiritual path.

This is a quote from the Dalai Lama. I found it on twitter. I think that is just delightful 😛

You’re putting me on.
-Igor

In my ongoing effort to re-engineer my life, I’ve found myself reading a lot from the Dalai Lama. There is a lot to learn from him. Maybe I can find a little more peace in my life, and by doing so, help provide peace to others. It’s giving me food for thought, certainly. One thing that really rings true: Negative energy sucks the life out of me, and I’ve had too much negative for too long. It’s not going to be easy to re-train myself to minimize the negative and focus on the positive.

Whether you agree with his philosophy or not, you gotta admit this is better than the usual fart-joke level of blog post I make here.

Compassion, love, and altruism are not just religious qualities. As human beings, and even as animals, we need compassion and affection to develop, sustain ourselves, and survive. What is the purpose of life? I believe that satisfaction, joy, and happiness are the ultimate purposes of life. And the basic sources of happiness are a good heart, compassion and love.