It’s a little late for an april fools joke, isn’t it?

Here is what our elected folks are busy dreaming up:

Congress May Extend Daylight-Saving Time

“The more daylight we have, the less electricity we use,” said Markey, who cited Transportation Department estimates that showed the two-month extension would save the equivalent of 10,000 barrels of oil a day.

The country uses about 20 million barrels of oil a day.

I want some of what they are smoking. First of all, you can’t create daylight by changing the clocks. WTF are they thinking? If the daylight is only X hours (which last time I checked is extremely dependant on where the sun is in relation to the earth, something congress, last I checked, has no control over) changing the clock around affects this HOW?

Also, why can’t we just move the clock by 30 minutes now and leave it alone forever instead of moving it back and forth all the damn time? (can you still I’m still trying to get three kids to adjust to going to bed “when it’s still light out”?)

Finally, let’s do the math on the estimated barrels of oil (and the Govt never misses an estimation, right?)

10,000 / 20,000,000 = .0005

So instead of spending $1,100,000,000 a day on oil, we’ll be spending $1,099,450,000.

Woot!

I resemble that…

Concluding his examination, the doctor asked, “You’re in pretty good shape for a man your age. How’s your sex life?”

The old man answered, “I have sex almost every night.”

The doctor looked surprised. “What? I don’t believe it.” “It’s true,” said the old man. “Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday…”

Like a ferry

yes, I spelled that correctly.

Last night I took the kids on a bike ride so my wife could mow the lawn. This involves the tandem and a bike trailer, so it is myself and a child on the bike and two more in the trailer. Okay then. (I don’t have a picture, but imagine this: the contraption is almost as long as my Civic, and worth much more if you go by blue book).

Only last night there was also a gaggle of kids already in front of our house, playing basketball and whacking each other Highlander style with pool noodles (there can be only one!) and generally having a good time.

So in a scene that would make Custer proud, I found the tandem immediately surrounded by various kids on various bikes with my son shouting directions from behind me (there’s a reason they call him the Rear Admiral) and we all took off. And I felt exactly like a ferry boat that has the dolphins playing in front of, beside, and behind as it lumbers along. Not that we were always lumbering, sometimes we were going quite fast (but not “a hundred” as one child asked) but we had to take it slow due to the sheer mass of our expedition. Remember Battlestar Galactica? Kinda like that, with the rag-tag fugitive fleet and such. (By Your Command)

The kids took turns as Rear Admiral until it was dark enough that everyone had to go home. It was pretty fucking great.

And reading this again – that second sentence? Is why I’d marry her all over again. My wife rocks.