Cinco

Here’s the trick: Chelsea Girl agreed to “interview” me, ask me some questions. I answer them, and then open the floor – tell me if you want me to “interview” you. Yes, I’m abusing the quotation marks because this is kinda a non-interview, we don’t go back and forth the questions are just kinda out there.

So, here are my five questions from Chelsea Girl”

  1. What kind of bear? I mean, real or cartoon? And why?

    When all this bloggity fun started, I was trying to be anonymous. Kinda. And somehow the image of Winnie the Pooh jumped into my head. I don’t ask questions, I just follow my instincts. So I picked it. Not much of a “bear” theme, is it?

    Oh, also? The initials S.O.B.

  2. Do you believe in the inalienable right to bear arms? Why or why not?
    I can’t help but laugh at the image of bears without arms, so yeah, I’m all for it.
  3. What about the right to arm bears?

    Now I think only happy bears should bear arms. And happy bears come from California. Or is that cows? (that should be armed?) I’m confused now.

  4. How about the right to bare arms?

    Oh, definitely. I’m all for it. But — (you knew there would be a catch) — I suggest sunscreen. Nowadays you can’t be too careful.

  5. And what makes you want to date me, if you weren’t married and didn’t live otherwhere?

    That’s the thing. I’ve been married for almost half of my life, and together with my honey (another kind of bear) for over half of my life. I honestly have no idea what it’s like to date anyone anymore, it has been so long. However, should the unthinkable happen (whereupon she wakes up and goes “WTF? I’m outta here!”) then I may find myself dating again, and that’s pretty scary. So I thought anyone who could write a page or two about their waxer has the obvious sense of humor it would take to actually like go to dinner with me or something. It takes a certain kinda crazy to appreciate my kinda crazy, so I think it would be fun.

There, did I get ’em all?

Heere, lizard lizard lizard

Last night I watched Godzilla. No, it wasn’t “Godzilla” as true fans know and love him, but it was a fun movie to watch.

Okay, as movies go, this one isn’t bad.

  • Some parts of the movie are implausible, even ridiculous. Ahem. It’s a Godzilla movie!
  • It has Mathew Broderick, and I spent most of the movie amazed that he’s shagging the cute girl from Footloose.
  • My son was perplexed that I called it the “new” Godzilla when it came out seven years ago. Apparently, he doesn’t watch enough Saturday afternoon TV with me.
  • Marble fu.
  • Mayor Ebert (and his sidekick Gene). Priceless!
  • Taxi fu.
  • A seargant that could have been great if he was played by Tom Arnold
  • Jean Reno just rocks. And not just because Queen Amidala fell for him in Leon.
  • When you are a highly trained military helicopter pilot, being chased by a giant radioactive monster, at night, and in the rain, don’t try and out-run it by flying quickly between skyscrapers. Try flying straight up.
  • Chief Wiggum is in this, who of course had Helen Hunt for a while. Not that I’m jealous or anything. no.
  • Principal Skinner is also here. Along with Bart Simpson (in a small part). Kinda.
  • “Where did you find this guy?” “He’s from France.”
  • Now I always think of Tex Mex when I hear the word “Godzilla.” Don’t you?
  • They blow up Madison Square Garden. You don’t get to see that everyday.

So, far from “art” or even (in most peoples eyes) “good,” but I liked it.