Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband! “Do I look Fat” responses: “Not to Stevie Wonder.” “Big time! That’s why I’m sleeping with your best friend.” “No […]
Here’s today’s funny list of shit I found somewhere else… Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. Well this day was a total waste of make-up. Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine? Don’t bother me; I’m living happily ever after. Do I […]
In the interest of family harmony, I took everyone out to eat last night (to the Black Eyed Pea, who showed us just how slow “family style” service really is). Then we stopped by the grocery store for essentials, such as milk, apples, and beer. Oh and Ben and Jerry have a new Peanut Butter […]