President Creates Cabinet-Level Position To Coordinate Scandals

President Creates Cabinet-Level Position To Coordinate Scandals | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source (full text at link): “‘Tonight, by executive order, I am creating a permanent department with a vital mission: to ensure that the political scandals, underhanded dealings, and outright criminal activities of this administration are handled in a professional and orderly […]

Picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue

Hi, Internets! pause. Okay, let’s try that again: Hi, internets! That’s better. Okay then. I’m sure you’re wondering just what will I blather about today. You know you wanna know, and it probably kept you up half the night. Me too! So here it is: I’m trying to cut back on my caffeine. There, that’s […]