adhd

Me: Where’s your homework?
Him: I don’t know.
Me: Okay… where’s your backpack?
Him: I don’t know.
Me: Can we perhaps look for it?
Him: No, “Smallville” is on.
Me: click.
Him: Gosh!
Me: Once again, where’s your backpack?
Him: It’s still in the car.
Me: …
Him: Can I watch “Smallville” now?
Me: No, it’s time to do your homework. Go get your backpack.
Him: But I don’t know where it is!
Me: You just said it was in the car.
Him: Oh, yeah.
Me: Can you maybe go get it now?
Him: Okay.
(minutes pass)
Him: I found my backpack, but the dog got out when I came back inside.
Me: (go get dog)
Me: Okay, how are we doing on homework?
Him: Huh?
Me: Your homework. How are you doing on it?
Him: I can’t find it.
Me: Wasn’t it in your backpack? (dreading answer)
Him: No.
Me: Well, where is it?
Him: I took it out of my backpack. It’s probably still in the car.
Me: (must. control. fist. of. death.)
Him: (realizing his certain peril) I’ll go get it.
(minutes pass, I’m holding the dog by the collar the whole time)
Dog: Gah!
Him: Okay, here it is.
Me: Finally. Let’s read the directions.
Him: Answer the following problems. Color all the “even” answers to complete the puzzle. My teacher said we don’t have to color the answers.
Me: But that’s half the directions! 1) solve 2) color
Him: She said it was optional!
Me: Okay, look, it’s your grade. But if you don’t follow directions and get a bad grade, don’t blame me.
Him: Nice try at a guilt trip, dad.
Him: Hey, can I have some carrots? (jumps up)
Me: Can you start working the problems now?
Him: (munch munch) after I eat my carrots. Can I have some juice?
Me: AFTER you do some homework.
Him: OK. (does problems. Takes three minutes)
Me: Are you going to color the even ones?
Him: No, it’s optional. You never listen to me!
Me: …
Him: Hey, we have crayons! (jumps up)
Him: (colors happily)
Me: great, thanks. Now when is this due?
Him: It’s optional! Sheesh.
Dog: Gah!

Oh, yes, and that was just the first page. I’ll let you imagine the other ten.

I’m at odds with myself over whether I need to post all the details of this weekend. I think perhaps my depression is trying to grab me again (shock! surprise!) and it’s whispering in my ear that nobody really wants to hear about stuff like this.

So, I’ll keep it short, mostly for the exercise of writing and seeing what happens, and y’all let me know if you need more info. Okay? Cool.

Lessee…

Friday I took off work early, we piled the van full of kids and luggage and other stuff, and we took off for the Dallas area.

After four hours trapped in the car, what could be better than taking the kids to a restaurant? I can’t think of anything, either. So we went.

We went to a place called Mudd’s, in Bartonville. Quit giggling, they used to be in Krum so this is a good thing. The wait staff all had shirts that said “Dig In” and “Why eat dirt when you can have Mudd?” and such. Very good eats. And the poor girl that waited on us? It was her second day. Since we met our outlaws there, there were a dozen of us (only four that are officially “adults”, though) and only one of her, and she still did a bang up job and near as I can tell did not quit or run screaming into the night.

Then we went back to their house and watched the kids run wild for a bit. My wife and I took the baby and drove to Super Target to get some last minute supplies. See, this “busy weekend” has baptisms (2) and birthdays (5, depending on how you count them) so we needed a few things.

Saturday morning we managed to get everyone ready and made it to the church on time. (”Church” in this case being a small facility that spread over about two time zones). The priest is the same one who married my wife and I nearly 20 years ago, only now he’s a Monsignor (on the outside. On the inside he’s still the guy we remember from high school) The baptism went great and I have exactly no pictures of it since we were so busy smiling and being happy and all that.

We went back to the in-laws and had lots of food and drink and laughing and even some swimming and caught up with folks that we haven’t seen since around Christmas (some of them) or Mothers Day (others). My mom’s birthday was Saturday, my son turns 5 on Monday so we celebrated that, my daughter turned 2 back in June, my niece just turned 8, my sister had a birthday in June, her new son we met for the first time, etc.

After the food and drink and swimming and more food we were kinda tired, and decided to stay the night.

Oops.

Well, we managed to overstay our welcome in a way that only a family with three ADHD and/or bi-polar children can. So Sunday morning we threw everything in the car and hit the road back home. At home there was laundry, and some errands to run, and some swimming, and dogs to pet, and cats to feed, and sleep to, erm, sleep.

And this morning we went and picked up my car at the shop and then back at work, making my list of things to get done this week so that the kids are ready to start school next Tuesday.

And if you’re still here? Thanks.

actual conversation, paraphrased since I wasn’t there:

Mom: Hi, you know that prescription you told us to try, that will help our son sleep at night?

Dr. DooRight: Yes, I gave you a very low dose so we didn’t knock the little guy out. Is he having a hard time waking up for school?

Mom: Well, he doesn’t sleep, it’s making him hyper. He’s bouncing off the walls.

Dr: That can’t be right. I’ve never seen that reaction in ten years of prescribing it. And I surely didn’t expect any side effects at such a low dose! This medicine is like an elephant tranquilizer.

Mom: …

Dr: Can you tell me what you mean by “bouncing?”

Mom: He sprints across the room and slams into the wall. Then does it the other direction. Over and over. When I asked him to stop, he did jumping jacks, cartwheels, and backflips, then bounced on the couch for a while like a trampoline. Before that he would repeatedly climb to the top bunk of his bed and jump off, striking poses on the way down. Did I mention repeatedly?

Dr: And what time did this happen?

Mom: from 8:00 until well past midnite. Non-stop. That would be Non. Stop.

Dr: …

Mom: Should we take him off the medicine?

Dr: Oh, definitely.

Just another day here at Case Studies “backward R” Us.