Articles by Becka

Any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question - Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t it is of no use. - Carlos Castaneda

*sigh* Ben’s back…Oh…umm….hi Ben! How are you?! Have a good trip? yeah?  What…what do you mean the place is a mess?  No it’s not!  I swear!  Okay…well..maybe we had one party or two, but I swear that I have no idea where that thong came from!

And with Ben’s return comes an end to our guest posts.  If I’ve made you laugh or have nurtured your hatred of Britney Spears, then I have done my job. 

I, for one, am extremely glad that Ben is back and hope that he had a chance to rest, because if anyone deserves it, you guys do!

And so I leave you with this: What do you say to an adult toy company when they contact you shortly after your order has arrived to check for your satisfaction of the product you ordered and services in general?

“The delivery was a bit anti-climaxic”

Confucius Says: When cat pees on new carpet, cook chinese food.

When are people going to finally lay down and admit that Britney Spears is a terrible mother?!    I mean, come on!  First the whole falling out of the high chair/fractured skull thing.  Then the driving without restraints thing.  Then the tripping and almost dropping the baby in New York City thing.  NOW I find pictures of Britney and KFuggly in Miami with a burned baby Sean!  Look at his poor little cheeks!  She’s wearing a hat and shades and he’s naked, poor thing!  My pediatrician told me, when my daughter was an infant, that sunscreen really doesn’t work on babies until after they’re a year old, that their skin is still developing, and to not take her out in the sun at all if possible, to keep her completely shaded.  Shouldn’t Britney’s expensive pediatrician have told her this?

She sits there and bawls to Matt Lauer about how she hates the paparazzi and the media and blames them for her problems.  I admit, it must be a bit difficult to raise your children with the media constantly surrounding you, but first of all she knew the media would be around her when she started this deal, and secondly there are tons of celebrity mothers and you don’t see them with the same problem!  Have you ever seen Reese Witherspoon or her hubby doing something stupid like she’s done?  Or Julia and Danny Moder?  Or even older mothers like Goldie Hawn or Susan Sarandon? 

I know their are crack-addicted mothers and abusive mothers, but isn’t what Britney’s doing called NEGLECT?  I guess it just goes to show you that no matter how much money you have, you can’t by class…but maybe she SHOULD buy some parenting classes. 

And Britney, honey, I don’t care what anyone says, wearing a bikini when you’re that pregnant is seriously, seriously unbecoming.  Don’t you pay stylists for that sort of thing?

Being an anonymous poster allows you to post things you’d never post on your own blog: like how much of a complete idiot you are.  Erin posted a lovely post about needing her sheets changed…heh…and it reminded me of something that happened a month or so ago.

Man: Poison Control, how can I help you?

Me: Umm…hi…my daughter sort of ingested something that I’m not sure she should have and I’m wondering if she’s going to drop dead or just be sick or what…

Man: Okay, what exactly did she take?

Me: Ummmmm…..lube….

Man: You mean like lubrication for doors and cars?  Motor oil or similar?

Me: Ummm….more like…personal…..lubrication…

Man: You mean like a douche?

Me: No, I mean like….ummm…KY.

It was at this point that the man on the other end told me to hold for a moment.  After two minutes of holding and watching my daughter to make sure she didn’t drop into seizures, he came back on the line.

Man: Okay ma’m (doesn’t that make you feel old?  I know it’s just polite, but it makes me feel extremely ancient) I just double-checked with my supervisor because we didn’t have that information immediately available (what, are we the only idiots who leave the KY right next to the bed for easy access?) but we believe she’ll just have some slight diarrhea and that should be all.

The underlying tone of his voice was this: Ma’m…don’t be an idiot and leave your sexual toys or their lubrication out when you have children.  We know your son found your vibrator and thought it was a spaceship, but now the KY incident is too much and has forced us to call DCF on you.

He REALLY said: Have a nice day.