Well, I saw my doctor this week, and I’m sure y’all have been on pins and needles wondering what she said. About my blood pressure.

(recap – somebody took my blood pressure a short while back, and it was between “balloon” and “grab the umbrella – this guys gonna blow!” So, I thought it prudent to have it checked by an actual doctor).

As it turns out, the actual doctor didn’t want to take my blood pressure, a machine did it because they can charge more on insurance and it’s more accurate. The doctor did “interpret the results” which means she said “hey, this looks great!”

Yeah, I was in a panic that my blood pressure was stratospheric and then it comes back as “great” or so, with the footnote of “for an over-forty guy that’s a hundred pounds overweight.”

But we talked about it (“Talk to your doctor” the drug addicts ads always say) and she said the best way to keep my blood pressure under control was: lots of sex. And not just normal sex, but white-hot monkey lovin’, on a regular basis, in as many places and positions as possible.

Not really, she said to eat veggies and not pizza and lose some more weight dammit, but I like my idea better. Don’t you?