I am probably one of only a handful of people who not only will not be watching Katie Couric on her big debut tonite, but who also couldn’t really care less if I tried.

It doesn’t have that much to do with Couric, I find her only mildly annoying, unlike Angela Lansbury, who has gotten on my nerves for years if not decades.

It’s this: I don’t watch the evening news. I haven’t since I suppose sometime in the 80’s, if I did it even then. I really don’t remember.

I’ve been known to watch the local news (at 6:00, I guess) if I know that a story is going to be on that I’m interested in. Somebody was fired, or there was a fire. You know. ‘Stuff.’ But network news?

First of all, it comes on at 5:30 here. Do you know where I am at 5:30? Yeah, picking the kids up after work. I work until 5:00, sometimes later. It is physically impossible to get home before I do (I’ve tried). Before I had kids, I worked later. And I had a hellacious commute when I used to live in the Big City (45 minutes on a great day, three hours on a lousy one, and yeah, I worked till 5:00 or later there, too). Okay, so no, I’m not home.

I guess I could Tivo it, but why bother? What are they going to say that isn’t said in eleventy million places on the internet (which I can read before I leave work) or CNN or Google News? Besides, Tivo is busy with Kids Next Door.

Isn’t the whole idea of a thirty minute (closer to fifteen once you toss in theme music and commercials) newscast that ‘brings you the world news’ kinda quaint? This is roller skates with keys. This is a car stereo with an eight-track. They are going to sit there and read me the news that I can read for myself in much greater detail and without commercials. I just don’t get it, and never have.

But then, I’m not the reason they are betting the farm on Couric, now am I?

(I suppose this is where I should talk about the token gesture of “allowing” a female to present the news in our male-dominated society, but c’mon, this is CBS we’re talking about, and network television, and I guarantee this is all about the ratings = money)