My first reaction was along the lines of “WTF?”

But I guess I better tell you what happened.

I stopped by my house at lunch and found a hangtag on the door from the cable company. The same cable company that I dropped five months ago when I found out I could still get the only local TV station on my satellite dish (there are now TWO local tv stations, but I hear the new guys aren’t anything to sneeze at).

Anyway, I find a hangtag on my door. It said they stopped by, to disconnect my service (my, how timely! I’m guessing they were busy working for FEMA in the meantime). And, could I please call this phone number and tell them when I would be home, or the dogs won’t be in the yard?

There are so many things wrong with this.

• If you’re going to wait five months, why bother?
• The ten years you charged me $40 a month for your crappy cable service the dogs were always in the yard. Why do you hate dogs all of a sudden?
• The electric company reads my meter every. single. month. and pats my dogs on the head when they do it.
• Why should I take half a day off of work (at my expense) to be home to make you feel better about my dogs when I cancelled service? I don’t owe you anything.
• The pole my cable comes from is in the yard next door. Just disconnect the shit over there, if you feel this burning desire to disconnect it now.

Yeah, I’ll be calling them back any minute now. I felt like calling them and saying “hey, dumbass, I was home all day yesterday!” Of course it was a Sunday, the cable guy only hates dogs on weekdays.

Update:

I’ve decided to do nothing at all. I don’t have cable service, I don’t owe cable anything (there was no ‘disconnect fee’ in the contract), and dammit my puppies are nice, if not a little boisterous. I’ll be sure to let the internets know if and when I get another happygram from the Cable Guy.