I once learned about a trick while dieting called ‘acting as if.’ The idea was that if you constantly went around thinking about being fat, well, you’d be fat. So you were to act ‘as if’ you were losing weight, and getting fit, and being good to yourself, to try and get a new mindset. If you start acting as if you are more fit, then you won’t use the excuse of ‘no, I’m too fat’ to skip out on going for a walk. See? Something like that.

Let me tell you – it fucking doesn’t work. I’ve been acting “as if” things are okay for a long, long time, and they just aren’t.

I’m heading back to that little Egyptian river…