In case y’all are thinking I’m a sweet guy and all (which would be a mistake along the lines of walking into the basement during a horror movie to find out why all the lights went out but the creepy music still plays), I offer this:

Yesterday I was walking to lunch and a young coed was unlocking her bike. I was, um (looking for the right word), admiring her form and wondering how she managed to not drop the cell phone she held to her ear while bent over double like that and simultaneously thanking all the trashy teen pop singers for bringing back certain fashions, and a guy had to practically grab my hand to get my attention and bring me back to reality. He wanted to know where the bookstore was. Luckily, I knew.