A priest is hearing confession one day when a man walks into the confessional and says, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I’ve been happily married for 56 years. Last night, I went home from a bar with two young women and we made love all night long.”
The priest says, “Well, that is a very serious sin. But first, tell me: How long has it been since your last confession?”
The man replies, “Oh, I’m not Catholic, Father. I’m Jewish.”
The startled priest replies, “Then why are you telling me?!?”
The man says, “I’m 80 years old. I’m telling everyone!”
Life.. don’t talk to me about life
From Beancounters I find this wonderful link to a list of bumper stickers / taglines.
Some good ones:
I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs. (ask Chuck about that!)
Driver carries no cash. He’s married.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
What would Gandalf do? (I like this one: What would Scooby Do?)
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
Jesus loves you. But I’m his favorite.
Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
Got any to add?
Finally!
I don’t know if y’all remember, but about five or six weeks ago I mentioned how the 40 Year Old Virgin had been in my Netflix queue since before it was released on DVD and still showed “very long wait.”
My working hypothesis (don’t know if I said so at the time) was that Netflix was holding out on me, that there really wasn’t a long wait but they were sending it to newer Netflix users first. I mean, there were 30 copies (at least) sitting on the shelf at Blockbuster had I wanted to pay $4 for it. But I waited. It’s the principle of the thing.
Finally, it arrived. And I watched it (Saturday?) and OMG that is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while.
Not at all for the kiddies (there’s a reason it’s “unrated”) but dang I laughed for a long time after.