Little green men

I could do a seriously long St. Patricks Day post, but I’m busy and lazy all at the same time, so I’ll direct you to this blog, who has already done the work.

Most of the time, white people consider celebrations of European heritage to be racist unless they omit large swathes of the 16th through 20th centuries. But since the Irish never engaged in colonialism and were actually oppressed it is considered acceptable and encouraged to celebrate their ancestry. For this reason, 100% of white people are proud to claim that they are somewhat Irish.

A big part of St. Patrick’s Day is having white people feel particularly upset at the oppression of their ancestors that has in no way trickled down to them. If you find yourself talking with a white person who tells you about how their great grandfather was oppressed by both the English and the Americans, it is strongly recommended that you lend a sympathetic ear and shake your head in disbelief. It is never considered acceptable to say: “but you’re white now, so what’s the problem?”

Salute!

I just wanted to wave hi to the hundreds of visitors from the middle
east and China that are here every day looking for Emma Watson’s tits.

If it weren’t for you, I’d have virtually no visitors at all. It’s
probably a disappointment that I don’t actually have any pictures of
Emma Watson’s boobs (or anyone elses, really) but don’t let that stop
you.

*waves*