another opportunity

To put it mildly, it has been a rough afternoon.

I don’t want to rehash things.  In fact, I wish I could forget some of what was said.  It has left me feeling horribly pessimistic, just this side of despair.  I hoped, thought, wished, (insert optimistic-sounding word here) that things were getting better, that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  I had hope.

Not feeling it at the moment.

Words from the Dalai Lama:

As long as we live in this world we are bound to encounter problems. If, at such times, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish our ability to face difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that it is not just ourselves but every one who has to undergo suffering, this more realistic perspective will increase our determination and capacity to overcome troubles. Indeed, with this attitude, each new obstacle can be seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind!

I’m sure he understands this better than I.  He likewise has much to teach about anger, attachment, compassion, forgiveness.  I’m not going to copy and paste more tonight.  I’m going to go and reflect on some his teachings, and have a big-ass glass of wine, and go to bed early.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to do better.

Oy

I made it to Monday! A bit relieved.

black_knight.jpgFriday night my son was ice skating and fell and broke his forehead (so to speak). He ended up with 8 stitches after giving us a bit of a scare – I answered my phone while waiting for the cashier at Wal-Mart to the tune of “He might need a ride home, or to the hospital.” This was coming from another 12 year old friend, the next phone call was from a paramedic.

Saturday and Sunday was lots of family time, and the reason for the “Oy” is that I couldn’t stop eating things. BBQ, birthday cake, easter candy. Oh my! On the plus side I didn’t drink much alcohol, and this morning (Monday, in case I’ve totally confused this) I went for a run before sunrise.

And yes, I totally googled the difference between ‘oy’ and ‘oi’ before picking the subject line. My spellcheck only likes the latter.

Candyland

Technically it is now Easter Sunday.

I hope y’all find some peace today, in whatever form it might take. I’m looking for my own, which is elusive. I don’t even know wtf I’m trying to say. One moment I’m full of confidence, the next doubts are clawing at me from every side. It’s exhausting being in my head, I’ll tell you that.

I’m going to stuff myself with some candy today and see if that helps.

Be well.