I have days, weeks sometimes, where I’m feeling very positive and optimistic and confident even.
Then something happens and about the only thing my mind can process is “holy FUCK how do I get past this?”
So, yeah, I’ve been through both extremes in the last week. Not quite sure where I am at the moment.
I’m on a “quote of the day” email service and this one showed up in my inbox:
Nothing is so easy as to deceive oneself; for what we wish, we readily believe.
~ Demosthenes (384-322 BC) Greek Orator
The Greeks may have been onto something.
I have a few things on my mind, and writing helps me sort them out. I haven’t been writing enough lately. (If you think this place is full of my ramblings you should see my google documents or my file system on my home computer). And I think it’s hilarious that my web browser thinks I mis-spelled “google.” Google google google.
Anyway, on my mind. I want badly to somehow repair the damage I have wrought over the last several years, but wanting it to happen doesn’t really mean shit. There isn’t a “how to” manual for this. Trial and error, much? (mostly error). I’m working hard along the way to manage my emotions and my expectations. To be realistic about what is possible and what is simply out of reach. To be patient.
Where did the subject line come from? Because for a few days I’ve been feeling out of place. Like I don’t really belong. I realize that it is not up to anyone else to make me feel like I belong, to feel wanted, but still, it wouldn’t hurt to get a little positive feedback now and then.
And yet, as the song goes – overall, I can’t complain.
A little out of place
A little out of tune
Sorta lost in space
Racing the moon
Climbing the walls of a hurricane
Still, overall, I can’t complain