“Blog Ambition” tour?

From Mommyblog and from lots of places before that.

It’s the weekend, which means it’s time for a stupid-ass meta-post about blogging.

This one is fairly interesting, actually. I pilfered it from ASB, who swiped it from Andie, who swiped it from Big Dick, who stole it from someone whose blog I’m too lazy to find.



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1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?

I couldn’t look hot unless I was actually on fire. Unless you mean sweaty, which happens a lot since the A/C in the car is almost as old as I am or I’m on my bicycle.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?

What photos?

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?

I like it when ANYBODY e-mails me. So far I have seventy-four offers to increase the size of my tits. And some great pharmaceutical offers.

4. Do you lie in your blog?

Defends on what your definition of “is” is. Or not.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?

Maybe. I might have to check my dictionary on that one.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?

Nah.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?

I should be.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?

Nope.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?

No, not really. If you saw where my computer was in relation to the front window you’d know it’s not really a wise choice (even if I wanted to)

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?

They’d probably agree with everyone else that I’m a piece of work.

11. Do you have a job?

For now…

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?

Sure.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?

Hmmm…

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?

Nada.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?

I act like I’m not living paycheck to paycheck, yes.

16. Does your family read your blog?

No, I doubt it, since nobody else really does…

17. How old is your blog?

One month, or less. Every day it gets older, so it depends on when you read this.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?

No, nay, never!

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?

Ahem. This is my other secret blog! Except for the “other” part.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?

No.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?

That’s funny. You should do late night.

22. Is blogging narcissistic?

Now, where is that dictionary again?

23. Do you feel guilty when you don’t post for a long time?

No, not really.

24. Do you like John Mayer?

John Mayall – yes. Mayer I don’t know.

25. Do you have enemies?

Not that I know of. Are you trying to tell me something?

26. Are you lonely?

Like the Maytag repairman.

27. Why bother?

Why not?



Pirates, rum, that sort of thing

I don’t know how I feel about turning theme-park rides into movies or vice-versa, but I liked Pirates and like this little bit:

ELIZABETH: But … you did it before! Last time —

JACK: Last time, I was here a grand total of three days. Last time, the rumrunners who used this island as a cache came by, and I bartered passage off. But from the looks of this, they’ve been out of business, and so that won’t be happening again. We probably have your friend Norrington to thank for that.

ELIZABETH: So that’s it? That’s the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow? You spent three days on the beach drinking rum?

JACK: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

WILL: Well, you’re the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of. You’re a man who can be trusted, who can be counted on, and who can’t betray his friends. What kind of pirate is that?

JACK: The worst. On the other hand, maybe I’m a man who can’t pass up a chance for revenge against the black-hearted bastard who stole my ship and left me to die in the middle of the ocean — twice! — and who knows how to get what he wants. Now that’s a great pirate.

Sex ban for the sake of football

LISBON (AFP) – Portugal winger Simao Sabrosa says complying with coach Luiz Felipe Scolari’s call for abstinence during the three-week European football finals which get underway this weekend will not be difficult.

“You can take it. It’s nothing out of this world,” the 24-year-old told Portuguese sports daily A Bola.

“If we had to stay here one month, which would be great as it would mean we are in the final, no one would get desperate. There would be no need for any sort of counselling.”

Sabrosa, who joined Lisbon-based Benfica from Barcelona in 2001, is married and has two children.

He’s married with kids. He’s probably used to going months without sex.

Heh.

(I know, I promised to lighten up…)