Happy Friday tunage

Heard this on the radio this morning and had a flashback to high school:

And if the cloud burts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you’re in starts playing different tunes
I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.


All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All that you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy
beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
everyone you meet
All that you slight
everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that’s to come
and everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon.

Golf, Genie.

A couple is golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband says, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows it’ll cost us a fortune to fix.”

The wife tees up and promptly shanks it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringes and says, “I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let’s go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost.”

They walk up and knock, and a voice says, “Come in.”

When they open the door, they see glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch says, “Are you the people that broke my window?”

“Uh, yeah,” the husband says. “Sorry about that.”

“No, actually I want to thank you. I’m a Genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You’ve released me. I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, and I’ll keep the last one for myself.”

“OK, great!” the husband says. “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.”

“No problem – it’s the least I could do.

And you, what do you want?” the Genie says, looking at the wife.

“I want a house in every country of the world,” she says.

“Consider it done.”

“And what’s your wish, Genie?” the husband asks.

“Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle, I haven’t had sex with a woman in a thousand years.

My wish is to sleep with your wife.”

The husband looks at the wife and says, “Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess it’s OK with me if it’s OK with you.”

So the genie takes the wife upstairs and ravishes her for two hours.

Afterward, he rolls over, looks at the wife, and says, “How old is your husband anyway?”

“He’s 35, why?”, she asks.

“No shit? and he still believes in Genies?”